Chasing Kris

First chemo infusion When I was first diagnosed with breast cancer, the word that resonated with me was RESOLUTE.  It felt so fateful, that diagnosis.  This was the beginning of the end.  As much as my mind was telling me I was being dramatic, I also couldn't completely squelch the fearful part of my brain that envisioned saying goodbye to my husband and kids, and wondering what their life would be like without me. It was only breast cancer, and I'd caught it early, but "only breast cancer" isn't really a thing.  It's freaking BREAST CANCER and people die of that!  I'd never had a disease that had the capacity to kill me. This one had been cut out and come back in less than two years, so the fight was on and I was taking the deep dive into full surgeries and chemotherapy.  Until now, my only risk for death had been by freak accident or my own stupidity. January - 2nd chemo & hair is gone Fast forward through a year and my current mindset is P...

This little cancer boob nugget of mine has caused me quite enough grief lately.  In deciding what to do about the diagnosis, the prevailing thought was that the first step was to carve it out.  I'm someone who asks a lot of questions and doesn't always go with the conventional wisdom, but all roads seemed to turn to the chop shop on this one. I scheduled my lumpectomy for the end of April.  Despite the fact that it is full on surgery, complete with the tube-down-the-throat complete suite of anesthesia, this did seem like a pretty routine procedure.  Certainly, my doctor seemed well qualified to perform the task and I had no doubt all would be well. I reported for surgery at 7am.  In the paperwork process, they want to know things like whether you have a healthcare directive or a living will.  Let me just say, this is not the most comforting thing to bring up when someone is presenting themselves for what they believe is to be a routine procedure! Afte...